Anesthesia, Wieners & Bowling Ball Babies

There really isn’t all that much to tell you about my Neurology appointment yesterday. Told her about all my symptoms and how AFTER the IVIG, I was really good for 3 weeks, almost like normal, well as normal as I get… We discussed the “challenges” I had with the IVIG, and what we can do to lessen or possibly even eradicate the extreme side effects – nevertheless, she has scheduled me for another round, July 13th & 14th. So that should put me in tip-top shape for the cardiac surgery which is on July 23rd. I’m certainly not looking forward to the surgery BUT I will take Surgery over IVIG every time if it’s anything like last go-round.

Surgery used to be super scary but you know what, familiarity breeds contempt and so, my third go around isn’t particularly stressful, yea I get pretty keyed up the morning of – but heck after the IV’s go in and they dry shave me… ouch….. I go to a deep dark warm sleepy place for a few hours. It’s no picnic when I wake up and for the next few days but still better than the IVIG experience. Neuro says they will pre-medicate me this time before the transfusion and also drop the dosage down slightly, add Saline and other fluids, they will also slow the whole process down and hopefully that should do the trick, if not…. well… let’s not think about that option just right now….. if it works… good times.

Dr Gibson, my Neuro – wasn’t very concerned about the breathing issues (ummmm, yea because it isn’t her who struggles to take a breath) she said the progression will affect my throat and swallowing first, I won’t be able to deal with my own spit anymore. When I start choking on my spit, next stop is diaphragm and chest wall weakness, which means I will be unable to breathe for myself…Woo-Hoo! – all things being equal I would prefer to order from the menu where that particular dish is not being served…

I thanked her profusely for her and Dr Evans, the thoracic surgeon, putting pressure on the Cardiac Surgeon to give me a sooner surgery date… she just shrugged and said – You’re welcome, it’s my job. That was pretty much it. I also called Dr Evans, to see about setting up the thymectomy, his secretary took all the information and said she’ll talk to him and see what we come up with.. if everything keeps going according to this schedule I could be out of the recovery by early December.

The chest surgery recovery is an unknown because it includes the broken ribs mending and also all the physio and as they all keep telling me time and time again, everyone is different and recovery varies. Ok I get it, fine, let’s get the show on the road, I AM SO READY TO DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE… rather than keep sitting here and always being so bloody reactive, waiting for the next calamity to strike.

Warning, the following gets graphic and personal… enter at your own risk…

Now before I go and pass you off to the weekend, let me tell you one last thing… we are all up to date on the whole – kidney, pain, pee, blood thing yes? My GP says well let’s try and strain as much of your pee as possible and see what we get… now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had to strain your pee but it’s not as easy as you think. In fact, I’ve been able to incorporate a number of very relevant fire department terms into my experiences, things such as, backdraft, blowback, flameout, dropping the hose, spray pattern – amongst others — gives you an idea of the challenges I’ve had here as Fire Marshal for station 51. Yesterday I was drinking my usual massive amounts of water to try and flush out the debris but there was very little pee coming out. This was concerning because I was warned the debris could build up and create a dam type blockage and then closely following that, could be kidney failure… awesome… so I was a bit nervous, as I am somewhat attached to my kidneys.

Then towards the evening I had the mother of all pee urges, head into the bathroom, the urge was so strong I couldn’t even get to the strainer in time (suddenly I went all dreamy and my eyes swam with visions of every single water canon incident I had ever seen, riots in LA, riots in England, Germany, Asia, gigantic trucks, armed policemen, civil disobedience, massive painful jets knocking down human rights protestors, race riots in france, water canons being fired off ships at whale hunting protestors) and with that, I started peeing. Suddenly, I feel this bulge start pummeling it’s way through all lines of defense, and resisting the urge to scream – ALIEN, CHEST BURSTER, IN MY WIENER! –  suddenly this massive, I guess you’d call it a baby for lack of a better word popped out the end… and laid in the bottom of the bowl waiting to be spanked and have the umbilical cord cut…. seriously it was like a 10-pin bowling ball baby only all jagged and seriously gross…. and then, I felt better. Still tiny bits of blood and little aftershocks and wayward orphans make their way out but much much better….

This chap gets off easy, the Alien is only in his chest...

Now go, thank your lucky stars you ain’t me…

Have a Great Day.

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