Lions and Beds and Chairs – Oh My!

Haven’t done a medical check-up post for a while so let’s take a wee stroll down memory lane.

I am happy to report that I am no longer sleeping in ‘the Chair of Agony’. After I made a few phone calls to some local clairvoyants I used to run with, men came, from an organization I am not at liberty to discuss (one you’ll never find and I’ll never admit to having any knowledge of) and proceeded to exorcise the demons from within – the obviously possessed chair – tis far far more than just springs and foam…. Yea, it started off as just a Lazy boy but as days passed into weeks, and weeks into months – one thing became all too clear, I was ‘different’ when I was in the chair – you know more-so than my normal type of different….

At first everyone just put it down to my having a case of the grumps, from being uncomfortable and sore. Some thought that perhaps I had started drinking again, still other speculated I was eating random mushrooms I found on my daily walks again. The more I protested, the more it sounded like I was covering something up.

It’s such a frustrating thing to be ‘the accused’ – innocent until proved guilty, hardly – and that is why I consider myself the equal of Nelson Mandela. We both know great suffering, I slept in a chair for 8 weeks, he spent 27 years in prison. I would often get a chill or sometimes a cramp in my feet as they hung over the leg portion of the chair, Mandela was mercilessly beaten, starved, isolated and terrorized by his captors. Spooky right, the similarities are staggering. Yet he has a Nobel Peace prize and what do I have?

Anyways I don’t require any fancy international recognition, as he clearly does, I’m just happy to go quietly about my daily life and the  business of making life easier and more special for those around me.

I slept on the couch for a night because it is firmer than the bed and I thought perhaps the softer bed might make it harder to support myself. It was uncomfortable but manageable, so then I thought I’d try the bed… it’s been a long time since I’ve slept in a bed, and now I know how the Dali Lama feels, unable to return to his place of comfort and joy, driven from his country by the Chinese, as I was driven from my bed by an inability to get up.

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My Bed... and this isn't even the fancy one I use on special occasions...

I could go on and on, showing the haunting parallels between great historical figures and myself. But I say unto you, to what end? I seek no personal or professional gain, I seek only that I may peacefully co-exist with my fellow travelers here on earth. Until I am eventually called to the next reality and one would assume, greatness.

My scar is still quite red, and big, I was told the colour would fade if I stayed out of the sun, which was no easy task, as I’ve mentioned before there is nothing I would rather do than hit the mall or walk randomly around the streets with no shirt on. So that was quite difficult, yet even with all the discomfort of wearing the constricting fabric of a shirt, I have sensitive nipples, the scar colour has remained.

I was further told to expect that as time wore on, the overall size of the scar would decrease, again more lies. Now, the scar runs from just above my left knee, to just about level with my right ear. So, it’s hardly shrinking. It does feel pretty cool though, the skin is super smooth and it feels tight and hard. Which was my nickname in elementary school…

I still have some trouble bending down to tie my shoes and pick stuff up BUT I can sit down and bring my feet up – to finally be able to put on my own shoes. I have been walking everyday and have started wearing ankle weights during these walks to try and get some strength and tone back.

It’s been a slow process and I can’t even count how many times I just wished it was over already, Ok I can – the number is 1.683 million times… and that’s just today. I’m getting there but not nearly as quick as I’d like. Who says patience is a virtue…..

Have a Great Day

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