Gold Bullion, Buick Skylarks & Ponzi Schemes

Well it appears that things are settling down somewhat… it’s almost gone too far in the other direction now… here, let me explain.

These mile-wide swings are so incredibly frustrating. I spent a couple of days with my flutter and fib alternating between 180 and 260 beats a minute. Imagine sprinting up the Matterhorn, carrying a 30 pound backpack…… got the picture? Good, now while sprinting up the mountain imagine also dragging a Buick Skylark, which in turn is filled with 1200 lead figurines of famously exotic & historically important birds… then that whole group of things is lashed to an Ocean-liner loaded with gold bullion… and bringing up the rear, are all the contestants from the biggest loser TV show since the series began – each in their own individual solid steel golf cart.

Now you get a rough idea of how difficult everything you do feels, you are so out of breath and there is this deep, deep very powerful fatigue – you just feel like you are doing everything in quicksand. It’s surprising because I would expect it to be the other way around, because I’m beating so quickly you think I would be like a hummingbird on crystal meth – not so. Now look, I’ve been both a hummingbird and taken my fair share of meth and I can assure you, this is like neither of those… hard to decide which was worse… crystal meth is a terrible drug that takes an unholy toll on your body BUT until you’ve worked a full 8 hour shift hovering around flowers, sucking up nectar all day – you have no idea how taxing it can be…

My situation is different in that my heart is not actually beating that fast, the 2 top chambers are fluttering, so it’s very weird because you can feel this racing in your heart but you are sapped of strength and energy because you have so little actual blood flow. When it happen like it has been for the past few days, all I can do is up my med dose a bit. Because of the warfarin and waiting for the cardioversion, the hospital can’t do much with me without my taking a big risk for stroke. So I grin and bear it – or, well, to be honest there hasn’t been much grin, but an awful lot of bearing it.

Then when I up my meds, that’s where the opposite swing comes in, now I get episodes of bradycardia – my heart starts beating much too slow, this is a fresh hell, where I get all faint’y and my extremities go ice-cold because all the blood is kept around my vital organs. So my arms and hands, legs and feet start cramping and going numb, you can also see these super weird involuntary big muscle twitches – while they try to jump-start the circulation… it’s an extremely fine balancing act between, too much and too little meds and I’m left to do it on my own. I can’t go to the doctor for every little blip, I need to closely manage and gauge my reactions and make adjustments accordingly.



I take this many pills ever seven seconds…. I currently have 38 pill bottles with medications in them, sitting on my desk – hey – note to self – sell black-market prescription meds to aged heart patients in the states… oh man, I am an idea guy… I’m pretty sure it’s all perfectly legal as well and may well solve my money situation, oh by-the-by… the whole toothbrush shank business is dead, just as well – it was a pyramid scheme anyway.

OK, well – I believe that is quite enough misery for y’all for one day – just wanted to let you know what’s been going on. I really dislike not being able to post – I’ve done it so long and so regularly, when I can’t – I miss it. Besides where else does one get to ramble and proclaim the outlandish flights of fancy I do without having my shoes laces and belt confiscated, and a beautiful white jacket with decorative buckles that safely fasten in the back presented to me free of charge?

Have a Great Day.