Base Camp, Poison & Buck Rogers

Greetings All,

I figured out why it’s been so hard to keep writing these posts lo these past few weeks. Regular readers will remember the salad days when I posted every single day no matter what. Sweet baby jesus in a button back velour halter top, some of those posts were just plain bad, with a capital Terrible. That’s not to say they were easy to write – some days, or well nights actually, I also wrote them at night so they’d be ready for you early birds to see first thing in the morning. (There is about 30 or 40 of you who check my post between 1 and 4AM Vancouver time, really – get to bed already….) Some nights it was agony, absolutely no topic coming to mind no matter how hard I tried to coax it onto the screen. Nevertheless, I wrote something…

Now it just seems much much harder. Like I said I figured out why – I think it’s my low self-esteem….. ha ha ha ha ha Just kidding, I don’t think it’s physically possible for one person to be as utterly enthralled with themselves as I am. I supposed it wouldn’t be so hard for me if I would just occasionally make a mistake, I have no reference point, my sea level is skewed. For arguments sake, lets say the average persons self-confidence level is located exactly at sea level. That would put mine at base camp four of Mount Everest, just shy of the summit….

.

 

Ok, Ok, I make fun time for you yes?

I started having a real reason why its hard to write the post then the heroin kicked in… heroin always gives me dis-proportionate confidence. Don’t get my wrong I’m pretty amazing but well Mount Everest… too much…

Originally when I started it was a tool, a way of keeping family and friends involved and apprised of the situation, my situation. Flying solo around the world is no easy task and I appreciate you all being with my throughout my journey to make it happen… Sadly, I could never seem to get my arms moving fast enough… rimshot….

A tool for keeping everyone abreast of my heh-heh (I said breast) journey through Hush-a-by Mountain and the world of hospitalization. It was also my release, a way to complain and rail against the indignities and foibles of my health, or lack thereof. Family and friends can only listen to so much grief and misery before they start adding just a little bit of arsenic to your morning oatmeal… then a bit more – and suddenly one of your girlfriends is going to home depot two or three times a day to buy more “rat poison” for the terrible “rat problem” at home. Note to readers (if I should pass under mysterious circumstances, give this post to the authorities)

.

It gets old, I get that…. hearing about another set-back or some new complication. When people say – “how ya doin” in most cases they expect a sturdy “fine” or “pretty good” then they can both move on having kept their contract with society – I’ve acknowledged you, now move along. No one really wants a laundry list of what you are actually going through. It’s too much, who needs more?

Anyways, the reason this post has been getting harder to buckle down and write is because it’s getting depressing for me. If all had gone well with the last surgery, well hell – I’d be the Mayor of Mirth, the Archduke of Jocularity, the Rabbi of Ribbing… you get the picture.

But it didn’t – in fact arguably, it got worse, one disease cleared up (knock wood) and the other got loads worse. So, to sit here recounting the ways in which things suck in general, who needs that? Clearly being such a superb writer makes the medicine go down much easier for Y’all… at least it worked for Jane and Michael Banks… (obscure reference alert – anyone, anyone – Jane and Michael Banks, medicine go down… anyone)

SOOOOOO, surprise – there has been another set-back… you are free to parachute out now and save yourself the gory details and attendant moribund whining.

 

Ok, are they gone? Jeez what kind of people are they, taking off when the going gets tough, they probably all pee in the shower too. Ok bad example, we’ve all played “Dancing Waters” in the shower at some point, trying to emulate the Famous Fountain at Caesars Palace in Vegas. Haven’t we?

Peeing in the Shower, well that’s as good a place as any to leave it today – I’ll call that reference, today’s high point… I promise the next post will explain all about the new complication and some pretty impressive icing on an already shitty cake.

My mom hates these cliff hanger posts, but the kids eat em’ up and as P.T. Barnum once said…. “always leave em’ wanting more…” Come on Mom, it’s like a serial, you used to love telling me how awesome the movies were when you were a kid, a couple of features, some newsreels and a few serials, oh how you used to love going to the “talkies” – you delighted in telling me how you could get into the movies for coat-hangers….. SO – In a way, I’m keeping you young with these cliff hanger posts, taking you back to a kinder, gentler time… when you didn’t buy Depends in Bulk at Costco….. Just Kidding….    as my mother – Legally  – you have to love me no matter what I say….. Plus I’m way, way stronger than you.

.

Ok next post see what happens to our Hero….

Have a Great Day

 

Advertisements