Monkey Blood, The CIA & A Lollipop

You had no idea wombats were so cute did you…. you want one don’t you….

Well I put them there on the last post because I’m now a member of the ferocious black market trade in wombat pelts…..

Just kidding…. who could kill those lovable little fellas?

I also may have misled you a little bit with the “lots to tell”  quote regarding my doctors appointments. I should have said I hope to have lots to report, but I was wrong baby, wrong.

I seem to have turned a corner in the sense that, free and open is no longer the operative words in my health care direction. Time was, I was right up in the loop, hearing all, seeing all, you know –  involved in decisions and such. Fat lot of good that did for me.

I was getting used to hearing “well, it’s your decision” after they had laid out a number of possible scenario’s and to be polite I considered them all, even when I thought them odd, I mean really – what purpose would transfusing me with Gibbon blood serve? Oh my god I just put two and two together, that would explain my new, oddly close together nipples and overwhelming desire to climb… just climb….

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OK, to be honest my nipples have alway been like that – but the rest is new….

As I said I used to be included in everything now, I’m lucky if thy even bother to mention my name or make eye contact during an appointment. Which is a crying shame considering they were all probably buying a boat just based on the billings they were able to charge for seeing me… So I went to my GP on Monday, as urged by the Heart Centre to discuss the haywire thyroid readings and the “rather important to me”  stroke diagnosis.

Let me pause here to apologize to all of you who were rooting for me to have had major stroke, forcing me to re-learn how to speak and write again… hopefully getting it right this time, rather than the crap I’ve been passing off for writing lo, these many years.

Looks like you are out of luck, because I seem to be fine… turns out I have like some kind of early 70’s CIA super brain, enhanced with transistors and  some mysterious orange substance, that falls out my ears directly after receiving a sharp whack, I’ve since had the orange powder analyzed, seems to be made mostly from Tang, so I assume NASA was also involved… anyways it takes more than a blood clot or a rupture and bleed in my brain to slow me down.

Again it’s a shame because with all this thoroughbred horsepower  in my head I should be running some third world country as supreme dictator, raping the country and filling my coffers. Whereas in reality, I have no coffers….. absolutely zero, as a matter of fact I don’t even know a single person who does have coffers, I want coffers, you have no idea how bad I want to fill coffers with the sweat and tears of my countries underclass…

Alas, it was not to be.

Side note – I looked for a picture to demonstrate coffers and this showed up… now – I REALLY want to fill my coffers….. I thought you could only fill coffers with money…. sometimes I’m so ignorant…. clearly I need to re-evaluate my coffer filling plan.

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Where was I… maybe I had a stroke years ago – I get on these tangents and off we go. Why can’t I stay on topic, it reminds me of this time… see… see, right there, tangent. FOCUS!

Why do you suppose the girl in the picture has her shoe unbuckled? Is she aware of the dangers of smoking at such a young age, maybe her mother

F.O.C.U.S.

OK sorry, My GP says let’s not… get a load of this, he says “let’s not worry about the stroke right now” hahahahahahahahahahahahah… well hell, what was I worried about? Apparently it ain’t no big thang’ – so I should just hush up my fretting and fussin’ and head back down to the farm…. Let’s not worry about the stroke right now…. since I had all motors skills intact, he did end up doing a number of tests but I passed all of them, (with my giant CIA brain) and so he didn’t think a CAT scan was required just yet.

He was more concerned with the 4 times normal thyroid, but since I was seeing the endocrinologist on thursday he didn’t say much except that he would defer to the specialists diagnosis. Thanks very much for coming in, have a lollipop…

OK I think that will do for today.. I’m trying to shorten the posts a little bit – but sometimes the voices, they won’t let me stop.

I’ll continue with the Endocrine visit and the new medications he put me on… super, super, fun for girls and boys…..

Have a Great Day

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