Freud, Cigars & Defending my Honour

Bit of an odd post for today… once again I find myself in the position of asking you, gentle reader – to not read anything into the subject matter. To quote Freud, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar….

For those of you unfamiliar with Freud’s work, he talked a lot about the subconscious, and how it sends messages to consciousness. I’m oversimplifying things, but, for example, as many parts of sexuality are repressed – according to Freud, they stay out of consciousness. But they still come up in various forms, most often in dreams. Even then, a tallywhacker, for example is a strong image, so the subconscious, in order to protect the fragile consciousness, hides the schlong in the shape of something else. For example a cigar. In fact, one of Freud’s best known examples is that a cigar actually represents a Johnson. (So next time you have a dream in which you are buggered by a man with a big cigar – don’t dismiss it – it might be sexual).

Freud smoked cigars. One day, a student asked him what this signifies. And Freud replied “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. Regardless, this sentence means that sometimes, when you’re looking really deeply for a meaning – there is none, take it at face value.

Whew – all this talk of big cigars…. OK enough! This whole post has been hijacked by what can only be construed as “me-thinks the man doth protest too much” I started off telling you to not read anything into the post and now here we are discussing my subconscious and cigars and gay porn. Huh, Whaaa! — Who said anything about gay porn…?

Hey Chris? “It’s us, your collective readership, we were just wondering if you ever worry about going to hell in a HOV lane for discussing Gay Porn on the Sabbath?” I’M, NOT! “Well yeah, you kind of are.” SHUT UP, STOP TALKING! “Alright, but we’re just saying” — STOP IT, STOP IT – I CAN”T HEAR YOU, NA NA NA NA (fingers in ears) NA NA NA!

Ummmmm, let’s just move on. I mean it’s just, well, I know it’s the Sabbath – that wasn’t my intention, at all…. of course – you all know how much I love Jesus……… NO NOT THAT WAY, THAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT! WHY ARE YOU TWISTING MY WORDS!

“Hey Chris, listen up buddy, calm down we’re only messing with you” Thanks guys, sorry I got so worked up there, “Not a problem, just relax – here, have a cigar”. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN YOU SONS-OF-BITCHES!!!!

I’m too upset to go on, I’m going to catch up on all the Ellen episodes I have PVR’d. I’ll post what I wanted to originally post….. tomorrow…..

Have a Great Day.