You should be ashamed of Yourselves….

So for a change, let’s talk about some good news…

Let’s talk about something positive, let us sally forth and hither-to shall we frolic about in the warming sunshine of eternal optimism. Let us speak not of drudgery and work-a-day constraints…

op·ti·mism – [op-tuh-miz-uhm] —

–noun

1. a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
2. the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world
3. the belief that goodness pervades reality
4. the doctrine that the existing world is the best of all possible worlds.

Do you know someone who seems to always have a smile and a positive thought? Or are you yourself one of those people who is full of optimism? Hardships are seen as ‘learning experiences’ by optimists, and even the most miserable day always holds the promise for them that ‘tomorrow will probably be better.’ If you always see the brighter side of things, you may feel that you experience more positive events in your life than others, find yourself less stressed, and even enjoy greater health benefits.

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In essence a real “glass is half full person” – you know who you are out there… Now that I’ve established the kind of person I want to talk about today… let’s get started…

Welcome…… to something that has always brought me joy. Never fails to cheer me up and through deep, focussed concentration I have been able to employ it in my darkest hours to drag myself up from the doldrums and up into semi-unhappiness….

So, let’s talk about the 8 best ways to kill someone with your bare hands.

Now, I’ll go ahead and assume you’ve already caught one of these “glass is half-full” types and have them secured in your sound proof basement or deep woods, log cabin. I’m also going to assume you are familiar with the deadly weapon that is your body;

  1. The knife-edge of your hands.
  2. Fingers folded at the second joint or knuckle.
  3. The protruding knuckle of your second finger.
  4. The heel of your hand.
  5. Your boot
  6. Elbows
  7. Knees
  8. and Teeth.

Attack with all of your strength. At any point or any situation, some vulnerable point on your enemies body will be open for attack. Do this while screaming as screaming has two purposes.

1. To frighten and confuse your enemy.
2. To allow you to take a deep breath which, in turn, will put more oxygen in your blood stream. Your balance and balance of your enemy are two important factors; since, if you succeed in making your enemy lose his balance, the chances are nine to one that you can kill him in your next move.

Now, just reading back over what I’ve written it occurred to me that it could possibly be construed as a teeny bit mean-spirited or perhaps even somewhat pessimistic. A direct contradiction to my opening salvo about being optimistic.

But then I thought well, wait a minute – doesn’t that make YOU the pessimistic ones. How do you know where I was going with it…. How dare you think I wasn’t going to a strong, warm, wonderful place when I started talking about killing someone with your bare hands… how dare you.

Are you happy, all you’ve really done is kill the burgeoning optimism in me, you’ve killed the tiny spring buds gently poking their heads above the moist and dewey soil. You’ve pulled tight the shade against the warmth of the sun, before it’s had a chance to kiss my cheek with its magical & restorative chutzpah.

Yet still, I choose to end on a positive note, you shan’t dampen my spirit – despite your dirty, ugly inferences……

I invite you to enjoy this duck;

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Have a Great Day

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