… and now the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain….

So, here’s the thing – I know I promised to tell you about the visit to the cardiac surgeon. But well, it’s too soon.

I need some distance, I need some time to reflect – look, it’s not you, it’s me. I just think we both need some time apart – I need to grow and to find myself, you know, really find out who I am and what I’m all about. Really – just, you know, BE… maybe give my inner child a call, take them out for candy in my white panel van…. looking for my lost puppy…. AMBER ALERT!!!

Oh for cripes sake, calm down – I don’t even think it’s possible to molest your inner child. Well not without quite a bit of chaffing anyway… hmmmm, it does have me thinking – it is a long weekend and what timing, Canada’s Birthday, what better time than now to take a stroll down memory lane.

I’m a centennial baby, did you know that? I was born in 1867, in Upper Canada amongst the flora and fauna of an unsettled frontier, too long trampled by you white devil invaders… bringing your small-pox, butterscotch candy and hand-held mirrors… It’s a disgrace, why it’s a scandal I tell you.

So ahhhh, as I ‘m writing this I am having a handful of new rosemary and olive oil triscuits, very delicious. I notice on the box they have a website, triscuits.ca – Hands up all of you who have ever had so much time on their hands they visited the website for a cracker? Seriously, a triscuit website, I mean, sure if it was Saltines Ok, now we got a legit reason for a cracker website –  but triscuits? That’s just dumb.

Ok so I went to the website, clearly I have plenty of time on my hands and – IT’S A SCAM! – there is no website, it takes you directly to a facebook page and they want you to “like” them – I smell conspiracy – those freakin cracker cartels… Imean seriously if you take time out of your day to actually visit the triscuit website, I think it’s a pretty safe bet you like them.

I stay up late, always have and I suspect always will, before I go to bed I like to listen to the radio a little bit – before gently dropping off into my twisted nightmares. There’s this program on the local radio station called Coast to Coast and it’s this George guy, taking calls and having guests from all over the planet, basically giving voice to every “kook” who can keep the rambling to a minimum and I assume doesn’t drool on the controls.

So last night, it’s this guy, some “scientist” with a ton of data and research studies, about all the weird goings-on across the planet lately. Everything from weather, natural disasters and animal die-offs to well other equally scary stuff and he had reams of data explaining what was going on and what it means, for you and me. It’s not good….

Basically he postulates it’s the world coming to a close, it’s the planet’s death rattle… the seas are stricken and the soil is seething. They’ve conspired to end us, each and every one of us… it wasn’t enough to be told this at 2 in the morning – what’s worse he knew who was behind it, he had proof of the malevolent evil – the darkness that walks among us each and every day…

I had first hand knowledge and up close and personal experience with the beast, he began rattling off more and more facts, more data until it became a tsunami of overwhelming evidence, the culprit was….

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You’ve been warned….                      ……it’s not God or aliens, or anything else supernatural – as usual, it all comes down to crackers….

Have a Great Day

PS – I will take tomorrow night off, but then I will post all the new medical updates over the weekend. You’re gonna love it – I know I do…. …not.