A Brave New Low…

Have you ever wondered how far you could throw a kitten?

I don’t mean just pick it up and chuck it – I’m talking about getting up – doing some deep knee bends, maybe a couple of jumping jacks to get the blood pumpin’, then crossing one arm in front of the other and pulling, so as to get a nice deep stretch, really good and limber – take a couple of practice tosses with a good-sized squirrel — something you managed to capture earlier that day with your peanut butter gloves of allure….

Take the time to head upstairs and put on your good workout gear, it “wicks” away excess moisture so you can guarantee your grip won’t slip and there will be no danger of your over-heating causing a sub-par distance. I would go with the black, sleeveless under armour shirt – black – because if you were to wear the white one, there would be a possibility of the sun hitting the reflective logo and the glint of sunlight could temporarily cause a slight hesitation, or loss of visibility – resulting in an improper angle of ascent. Sleeveless to ensure maximum range of motion.

Head back outside, firmly plant your feet with your back foot against something similar to the starting blocks used by professional sprinters, or wait better yet, maybe that long low piece of wood embedded in the ground the shot-putters use – doesn’t really matter what as long as you are able to get full purchase with your footing, I think anyone with any experience will tell you the same thing, that good, solid foot-work is the hallmark of a serious kitten throw…. remember the real strength comes from a powerful leg thrust just before release.

You’d need the full range of motion to ensure a good, strong, arm rotation, through a complete 165 degrees (with the follow through)… Once the kitten is safely held in your dominant hand, and I can’t stress enough to remember the chain mail gloves, because let’s face it, he isn’t going along for the ride quietly…. once held in your dominant hand, it’s time to lock your grip. The next step entails slowly rotating from the base of your stance and using a “whipping motion” to really get those RPM’s up and – this will take practice – but you must always strive to release the kitten at the absolute apex of your directional arc, stay with it, you’ll get it…. once you’ve attained maximum RPM’s… release.

Now he’s gonna want to keep hanging on with his claws, beginner mistake – easily fixed, this can be avoided by “correcting his attitude” with a small ball-peen hammer before the flight path has been cleared for take-off. Then it’s bon voyage, as you watch him sail majestically up, up, up and away, into the wild blue yonder. On occasion you may see protective tiles start falling off as he re-enters the atmosphere, that’s due to friction and heat – this is normal and a completely acceptable part of the flight, hey – good enough for NASA, it’s good enough for us right?

Now I’ve left one of the most important parts of the whole exercise till the end, because I think it’s the most important and so, by leaving it till the end – I hope it leaves an impression on you. It’s the question of mental toughness, focus, the power of concentration – I can’t stress enough how important it is to “visualize” the various stages going well, the capture, the attitude correction, the grip, the rotation, the explosive leg thrust, the release – at its apex…. see success at each stage and you’ll achieve maximum distance each and every time. Good Luck!

Other than that, we’re getting along really, really super….


Have a Great Day