Reasons that Justify Axe Murders

Well, here we stand on the precipice of another Hallowistmas… I say that because if an alien were to land on earth at just this moment or to be more precise a month ago and had that alien been unfortunate enough to stumble into a mall, he would (I apologize for assuming it would be a he) – he would be confronted with aisle upon aisle of Halloween merchandise standing directly across from Christmas merchandise.

When did this happen? In my opinion it just makes the actual holidays themselves smaller. If you’ve been surrounded with Christmas stuff since September by the time Christmas actually gets here you’ll be good and sick of it and just about ready to insert ye olde yule log in to the backside of anyone having an even passing resemblance Jolly old Saint Nick..

How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

When you were a kid, I can remember wishing it was Christmas all year-long. Now in a Twilight Zone episode, it’s nearly come true. Unless you live in anyplace other than The Amazon Jungle or perhaps the Equatorial Congo, you should not be able to buy Garland and Sunscreen at the same time of year.

But wait, Who says? Why shouldn’t I as a member of the most advanced society in the history of earth be able to buy, say….. a sarong and little to/from gift tags in the shape of cartoon polar bears and penguins. What plausible reason is there that Gatorade and Egg Nog shan’t share a cozy little corner of the shelf at your local five and dime.

Why…. Why should it be so… why do people refuse to properly yield and merge on the freeway, how could Greece screw up its economy that profoundly,  why is hollywood producing so many remakes, why can’t you just feed mayonnaise to tuna fish, that would save a step, why are the number of rednecks in direct proportion to….

OK I felt a rant coming on… not my intention – no one wants to start a weekend that way. Let’s think happy, fun time thoughts, let’s think winning the lottery thoughts, let’s think spectacular 30 million dollar thoughts…. I have just over 700 people reading this blog daily (thank you) and here’s my pledge to you – if I win the 30 million, I’m taking each and every one of you out for ice cream….. and to a store to set the christmas/halloween displays on fire.

Have a Great Day.

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