Dogs, They’re Not People…

Ok, so… I realize I am playing with fire here…. people get absolutely, positively, downright hostile whenever you delve too deeply into their relationship with their pets.

Last night, another in my long line of sleepless nights, I happened upon the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. It isn’t on Home & Garden or the Family Channel or National Geographic… nope…. it’s on the Sports Network. Yeah, the SPORTS Network. Which makes me laugh on so many levels. A number of  male attendees were wearing Tuxedos and the women were wearing, well, ummm… lets see how best to describe it…  imagine colour blind Aliens were tasked with buying outfits, while drunk, during Mardi Gras for one of  Trump’s ex-wives….. but I digress…

The categories include the hound, toy, non-sporting, and herding groups – hour after hour of dogs standing around being fed treats, from the mouths of the handlers – while people in the audience scream as if Jesus himself was walking a puppy. Here comes the demanding part, the dogs must walk in a large circle, being dragged by what appears to be a doggy garrotte, that is until the really really demanding, standing still part……. Here’s my point, show me a dog who has rescued someone from earthquake rubble, or saved a kid trapped in a well, or helped a family find their way out of a dark forest at night, or rescued a skier from an avalanche,  maybe protected a child from a cougar attack….  Now you’ve got a reason to award a best in show. Handing out a reward for the dog most able to remain calm in the face of manicures, pedicures and beer shampoos just doesn’t seem right. They aren’t clever or brave or strong or helpful…  they were simply born….

I know it's wrong to find this sexy.....

James Thurber wrote, “Dogs are obsessed with being happy.” This, I assume, is the attraction of a Dog… happy go lucky to a fault, unless they are trying to pull your larynx out… but generally, happy go lucky. I’ve had dogs ever since I was little – so simmer down now, before labeling me a hater. I just belong to the school of – it’s not a toddler. Even my man Caesar agrees… I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard him say “it’s a Dog, it should and needs to be treated like one”. Problems are seldom with the Dog,  in almost every case, it’s the Owner.

So before buying that third polka dotted, fur accented raincoat for peppy or butch or spandau…  remember, he’s a dog – I’m not saying don’t love them – I’m saying don’t give other dogs a reason to snicker when he’s out for a walk…. they’re not people….

Although some breeds can appear spookily human-like, remember they're still dogs

Have a Great Day

PS – I’m extremely excited to see Shutter Island

PPS – This post does not apply to parrots…..