Superheros & Stressed Spandex

There is a movie out based on a comic book, I know, weird right, they hardly ever makes movies from comic books but this one is different. It’s called Kick-Ass, see the trailer here and personally I found it to be awesome. I’ve never been a big comic book type, but I have read this series and I found them pretty good. You’ll see what’s going on after watching the trailer…plus it’s when I fell deeply in love with an 11 year old kid by the name of “Hit Girl” – she steals the show and my heart along with it….

The basic Idea is a regular guy with no superpowers decides to be a superhero, he isn’t rich, doesn’t have his own mansion and cave from which to fight crime… he isn’t from another planet or bitten by a radioactive spider… just a kid who wants to help. Now I ask you, who hasn’t at some point – OK girls I won’t speak for you, but fellas there is always some point, some time when you thought of being a superhero… occasionally when I walk around I can still hear my theme music in my head… unfortunately, it’s been awhile and my superhero now looks like this….

Monday, all you can eat ice cream, for dudes with capes..... "Super Cone Power Activate"

I’ve never really sat down and mapped out exactly what my super-powers would be but rest assured they would be unexpected. For example, I’m pretty sure I would require a Devastating Healing Punch – As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad my ferocious fists would instantly heal the damage I inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver crushing knockout power. Mine would  leave an opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. While still giving me the satisfaction of having hauled off and clocked some moron. It’s a win-win….

Just another way I would go about serving my fellow citizens. Another power I would want and use with alarming frequency would be the power to instantly change any pair of acid wash jeans to just a regular pair of currently socially acceptable blue. Sure it’s a small thing but it’s the kind of thing that would sneak up on you and before you knew what was happening the world would be a better place.

It’s like Rudolph Giuliani and his early work to clean up New York. Cleaning up the graffiti, trash and broken windows seem like a tiny, futile act when stacked up against the magnitude of serious crime wracking the big apple, but something amazing began to happen, crime statistics went down – turns out, a cleaner more appealing neighborhood, proved a strong deterrent, people reacted to their environment, positively.

It’s in this vein I would attack with a furious vengeance ever pair of acid wash I found and in so doing would end crime, make everyone’s breath fresher and make the cities once again the beacons of truth, justice and the Canadian way that they once were….. or something like that….  Who was that masked man…….

Have a Great Day.

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