Boobs, Earthquakes & Why Iran Rules!

Who amongst us can say they haven’t always been a huge fan of Iran, I’m guessing no hands shot up just there, because…. Iran Rules! It’s not a matter of personal preference or even an quantifiable decision one makes after weighing the pros and cons of Iran…. it just is…. like fat kids attracted to fudge, nature in action.

Look, before I go on, there are literally hundreds of reasons I could use to bolster my argument and convert any non-believers… but that’s not my goal, I’m not looking to convert anyone, you can’t convert someone to agreeing that the sun is warm…it just is…. I am going to interject just one pro, because it seems like the right thing to do, and it’s a doozy and should easily allay any doubts you may have regarding the validity of the total ruling of Iran. Right off, you should be aware this will not go well for women, remember – this. is. Islam….

Female immodesty is killing thousands of innocent people. Not directly, but indirectly by causing earthquakes, according to Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader. “Many women who do not dress modestly… lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society which, [consequently], increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying in Iranian media.

Define Provocative.....

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Mr Sedighi said during a Friday prayer sermon. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury… I implore you – is there anything I could possibly add to this statement to make it resonate more deeply in your heart? I think not. Case closed – Iran Rules. Iran – 1, Boobs – 0

Of course, it all makes sense, women  – you damn women, always with the disturbing of magma. Is it too much to ask that every once in awhile you put on a sweater to help stabilize the core of the bloody planet. Seriously lady, where do you get off….. Ever since Eve, it’s all been downhill for men…. since then we’ve lost out natural tendency to nurture and suckle….

In response some female college student in Indiana got her panties into a bunch and started a Facebook page/protest/demonstration movement she called “BoobQuake” in which she asked women all over the world to wear their most revealing garments on a specific day and prove once and for all that Boobs and provocative clothing did not cause earthquakes… So they did.. women all over the world wore skimpy outfits and many massive mammaries did materialize…..

Although she kind of looks like the Geico Caveman, there is no doubting her ability to move Magma

Do I even need to finish the story….. you know where this is going right…… earthquakes….. preposterous……

WRONG….

they caused an earthquake in Taiwan, magnitude 6.9, women & boobs…. geez….. I know I speak for all men when I say just keep those things covered up for a change…… we’re sick of them all up in our business….. filling out bikini’s, stretching out T-shirts, causing earth tremors…… I’m gonna wrap it up here without even breaching the subject of how many car accidents boobs cause every year…..

Iran, those guys are onto something…. smarten up ladies or you may end up someday looking like this……

Disregard the slutty ankles, she is showing off like a drunken prostitute

Have a Great Day!

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