Finding the Perfect Ball Gag!

I think I may have figured it all out.

Why I’ve been having so much trouble, why I’ve been having such a hard time. I think it’s because I’ve been coming at this whole thing from the wrong direction, totally.

A bunch of years back I saw a movie, terrible movie about a man-eating plant – but it may just hold the key to my future happiness. The movie was called Little Shop of Horrors… now I’m not interested in the main story – it’s one of the sub-plots that intrigue me. Steve Martin is a sadistic dentist and the boyfriend of the female lead….Bill Murray is one of his patient, a patient who happens to be a fervent Masochist. Not only did he ENJOY pain, he went out of his way to seek it out….. Wait a minute…. he what?

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The dictionary definition of Masochist is someone who derives pleasure from receiving pain, often self inflicted. Well now, can you say “hello solution” – if I could just turn this whole thing around by simply becoming a Masochist, then it’s problem solved and happy days for me. How does one become a masochist? The quicker I make the switch, the faster all my troubles disappear, begin seeking out pain, hunt for ways to press my boundaries further and really embrace any and all discomfort…. if pain starts causing me pleasure…. I’m golden. I’ll be in the best freakin mood – all the time….. This is huge, a breakthrough of epic proportions…. love pain, seek pain, make pain my bitch….

I have to go now and start shopping for ball gags and studded leather butt-less chaps – at least I assume that is the standard dress code I need to start with…… I want to kick off my new life the right way… Masochist… I like the sound of that….

Have a Great Day.