Doctors OR Puppets……

A two-year investigation conducted in five major cities has exposed a widespread campaign by the formidable Rest and Fluids industry to infiltrate thousands of doctors’ offices and dictate how they treat minor illnesses.

The investigation—the full details of which will be disclosed over the coming months—documented thousands of instances in which sick patients were repeatedly instructed, often verbatim, to “lie down and drink plenty of liquids.” This treatment, recommended a staggering 4 out of 5 times on average, was in each case prescribed by a physician known to have recently enjoyed a golf vacation courtesy of Big Rest and Fluids.

“You have no idea how deep this goes,” said Dr. X, a physician who wished to remain anonymous. “They’ve got everyone, from the pediatricians and family doctors, right on down to the school nurses. We’ve had the cure for the common cold for nearly 40 years, but it’s still ‘rest and fluids, rest and fluids.’ Why? Because these guys are getting paid through the nose, that’s why.”

The Canadian Rest and Fluids industry first rose to prominence during the Great Influenza Pandemic of 1918, when there existed only meager competition from quarantines and prayer. After gaining influence during the ’20s and ’30s, mainly through mob connections, R&F; was again buoyed in 1947 following the introduction of employee sick days.

What began as a small-scale racket has today grown into a multinational organization, with billions of dollars devoted each year to pushing its pro-napping, broth-focused agenda.

To date, no doctors have been willing to testify against these so-called Rest and Fluids “fat cats” for fear it would destroy their careers. In fact, a number of physicians have already been blackballed for prescribing echinacea and other over-the-counter remedies. Worse yet, some fear violent retribution for not toeing the Rest and Fluids line. In 1997, four Chicago doctors who were known to prescribe cough syrup were found dead at the bottom of a pool of NyQuil. Officially, these deaths were blamed on the less-powerful Natural Causes industry, but many still believe the message delivered that day was clear.

Representatives of Rest and Fluids have refused to comment on the allegations.

I’m not saying the story is true or false, I have no physical proof, I leave it for you, gentle reader to decide… but the next time you are advised to drink plenty of fluids and get some rest… take a moment and consider if it is really the best treatment for you or simply industry profiting from your fatigue….

Have a Great Day

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