Waiting is Painful

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us…… sad but true….

Seems like recently this post has been nothing more than belly-aching and bad news….. Why stop now….

So This has been the week of appointments with the specialists, I told you about my Cardiologist appointment and how he discovered some new murmur. After meeting with him, I was to wait a week and then call his secretary to get the date for my new operation. I akso explained how my doctors seemed to be split in regards to which procedure should be done first, or if it mattered? The Cardiac surgeon, said – makes absolutely no difference whichever procedure is scheduled first go ahead and get it done…..

Called his secretary this morning – she informed me…… they are so backed up that I will have to wait until September for them to even be able to give me a guess when they may have a opening for me…. so I’m waiting 4 months just to be told how many more months I’ll have to wait until  getting in for my next and hopefully final heart operation…. (Sucky level 3.5)

Today I also finally had the pre-op meeting with my Thoracic surgeon to discuss the operation and get it scheduled. He went into sickening detail about how invasive it would be, I certainly hope he was under-selling it and giving me a worse case scenario…. 7 – 10 days in the hospital to recover….. basically unheard of – these days, when they try and get you in and out as quick as possible, 10 days is crazy long – then 6 to 8 weeks of home recovery. They leave a number of tubes in my chest to drain the fluid that apparently builds up… amongst other charming recovery issues and challenges.

So I asked him the question about which procedure I should have first or if it matters. He said, without question I should have the heart operation first. Well now isn’t that just Jim Dandy – Basically all my doctors disagree on which should go first. I was leaving it up to the two actual surgeons performing the procedures to make the final call. One says doesn’t matter, the other says definitely the heart procedure should go first. His main reason is this, atrial fibrillation is a very common side effect in recovering chest operations in patients with NO history or arrythmias… therefore someone like me, who already has a history of arrythmia could, potentially have a very rough time. Also if the fibrillation continued they would need to administer anti-clotting medicine, to avoid stroke BUT they want as much clotting as possible to help heal the chest…..

So he said he would very much prefer the heart was at optimum before proceeding unless the 3rd ablation does no good, then he’d be willing to proceed and deal with the consequences as they arose….

So I could be looking at months and months more of this horrific limbo….. the thoracic surgeon said he would get together with my neurologist and see if they can somehow pressure the cardiac surgeon into getting me in sooner… But I doubt anything will come of it…

Spent most of today in an epic funk…. magnificent mood swings between very angry and very depressed… This waiting is hard on everyone….. I know it is, family, friends, work etc etc — but it is almost unbearable for me.

Normally I go over these posts for spelling and to ensure the grammar is correct and the writing flows, sometimes more thouroughly than others – but today I just wrote this all in a burst and I’m gonna post as is… I hope it reads Ok….too tired and defeated to edit…..

Have a Great Day.