Me, Lizzie Borden & My Cardiologist
Seem to have worked out a compromise with God and really, from what I’ve heard, 1000 years in purgatory will just fly-by….
Speaking of Purgatory, I managed to see my primary cardiologist today. He’s a very nice man, I like him, which is not something I can say for everyone I’ve dealt with…. but for the most part they’ve been good, kind & understanding. Which I imagine is no small feat. Think of something you do repeatedly, day after day and how difficult it can be to drum up enthusiasm or fake it, if you are forced to deal with people. Well that’s what these people do everyday – they see patients who I imagine tend to blur together into one giant symptom, same data, same causes, same tests, same results, over and over and over.
From the patients point of view, it’s all fresh, new and terrifying, but the medicos have seen it all before – I suppose that’s what sets the exceptional Doctors apart from the rest. Technically, they may be superior diagnostician, knowledgeable and smart as all get out BUT, we’re make the mistake of treating us like petrie dishes – we need more to help us through. The Doctors, nurses and various other supporting players who are able to see the people and not just the vein from which to draw blood, or the chart or the test result or lab report, those are the ones you want to be shipwrecked with…. they take an extra minute to explain what’s going on, or what is about to happen, they will answer your questions and do their best to not pour gas on your anxiety inferno…
My cardiac surgeon is currently on vacation so seeing him is out of the question, he is of the more aloof ( hooray, I got to use the word aloof) school of patient relations, very smart, absolute top of his field, teaches all the other surgeons in Western Canada how to do the procedure I had done, so he’s the guy, but his bedside manner makes Greg House look like Mother Teresa…. anyways, my regular cardiologist, nice guy…. I saw him… at first I was SUPER DUPER frustrated because I had been in Atrial Flutter for 8 days in a row, driving me absolutely in-freakin-sane and wouldn’t you know it – as I was showering to go to the appointment, I felt my heart snap back into rhythm… you sneaky, vindictive, little bastard of a muscle… you go crazy for days, then just as I’m about to go to the Doctor, suddenly I have the heart of Lance Armstrong, just perfect….keeping time like the finest Swiss movement…. I was in the odd position of wishing that the fib would come back, I know, I’m an Idiot.
To my relief???????? Just as I was being checked in, it came back and went all loopy, a fast then slow fibrillation jamboree, a heartbeat hootenanny… ummmm hurray????
I’m wasn’t worried if it had stayed good, there is the ER heart tracings showing me all ka-blooey BUT if the Doctor can see for himself what is going on it sure helps. So we do EKG, EEG, halter tracing, BP, Blood etc etc, he takes all the info .. looks it over thoughtfully, folds it into my file and says “well, we’re still only two weeks out, too early to tell what’s going on, this could just be the heart settling down after the operation” – “we’re not going to do anything, just right now, let’s just ride all this activity out and see where that takes us”…
Gentle reader, if you have been keeping up with this blog then you’ll be aware that these past couple of weeks have been like my own personal first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, except I’ve been storming the beach alone….. so the prospect of not doing anything, just letting this go on for however long it decides to damn well go on…. is not (caution – swear word ahead) FUCKING ACCEPTABLE. Sorry, I very seldom swear and the shock can sometimes throw people, hence the disclaimer. Sidebar – I have literally had a room go silent on more than one occasion because I swore, it’s just such an unusual occurrence, people are so shocked, it’s usually followed by nervous laughter….
So when he suggested just letting things be, I was momentarily stunned. Now if you are anything like me, when you go to your Doctors appointments you always bring an axe, for exactly an occasion such as this, a friend snapped this picture of me in the cardiac ward minutes after the doctors suggestion…
Really, the bloodbath was totally uncalled for, he’s right – we really can’t do anything but wait and see, but OMG it felt so good, swinging that axe, again and again…
So we wait and see and I deal with the something wicked this way comes as best I can….
Have a Great Day