The Viet Cong & Sweet Sixteenth Birthdays

Well, apologies for not writing anything Saturday night, but this weekend – on top of everything else – my oldest daughter turned 16. So yes, I am officially old. You’re right, having dinner and celebrating didn’t take all night I still had time to go ahead and post a little something – and here’s the thing (and incidentally this is gonna be a short post as well), why, well – do you have any idea how long it takes to install bars on the windows? Take it from me, it’s plenty time-consuming. But it pales in comparison to how long it takes to mine, design, and smelt my own silver stakes and bullets for all the boys gonna be coming round here…

But that pales in comparison to the tiger pits I’ve spent most of the weekend digging out in the front & back yards. What’s a tiger pit… oh – I keep forgetting you weren’t in “the Nam” with me. Tiger pits were used by the Viet cong to try and maim or outright kill us poor grunts. You must have seen them in the movies, Deep pits dug in the ground with lots and lots of sharpened sticks at the bottom of the pit secured into the ground and pointed skyward. Then the top of the pit is disguised to look like ordinary jungle brush. To be honest it hasn’t been easy, there just isn’t the same amount of overgrowth in my yard as the Vietnamese jungle, so I’ve had to make do – you’ll understand if I don’t elaborate that would defeat the whole purpose of the pits.

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16, that’s a pretty big one, I think it ranks right up there with the top few moments in a girl’s life, I think 10, because you reach double digits, then 13  a teenager, then 16, pregnant, then comes, wait.. what? Then comes 18 another biggie, then 19, legal, then 21 OK I guess basically they are all pretty important.

The only down side I can see at this point to her turning 16 is she won’t fetch as much in the online kiddie porn chat rooms, but now those pole dancing classes should really start paying off. Hey don’t judge me, university isn’t cheap. Some kids play soccer, some kids play piano, she just happens to have a 6 minute routine to joe cockers “you can leave your hat on”….

Oh I can hear you all now, wouldn’t that just be so funny if she really did become a “dancer”.

No.

No it would not.

Anyways I love her with everything I am, I’m exceptionally proud of her and as long as she remembers – I brought her in this world, and I can take her out – we’ll be fine.

Have a Great Day.

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