Reasons Number 17001 & 17002 why I Rule!

OK, I’m back…. mission accomplished. Egypt is under control. Egyptians, you are welcome.

Now look here I’m a pretty confident fellow but sometimes I amaze even myself. I mean seriously, it was even more successful that I had expected – In country for just over 44 minutes and the president resigns. Even after weeks of stead-fastly refusing to ever, ever, never ever step down.

I mean really, what’s the big deal about world diplomacy. Why haven’t I been voted King of everything yet? That is like the fourth world crisis I averted in the last couple of years…

It makes no sense…. you know what else makes no sense? Why I still haven’t sold out all the shares of my Toothbrush shank company? I had a bunch of interest the next day following my post and quickly sold three of the shares for the full $15,000 but then the last two shares have proven more difficult to sell. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s not everyday a sure thing opportunity drops right into your lap…. don’t be a fool.

I’m going to wrap it up there for today, Egypt is a long way away – I’m quite jet-lagged, I’ve got sand in absolutely everything, and I smell of gamey camel and figs.

Oh, medically – I started on Warfarin on Wednesday night. For those of you unaware of what Warfarin is, it’s a “platelet inhibitor” — people think, incorrectly, it’s a blood thinner but what it does is basically turn your body into the huge fountain outside Caesars Palace in Vegas, only instead of dancing waters, it’s your blood.

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It removes the bloods ability to clot… so even a tiny, normally insignificant cut, could bleed for hours. It also has the potential to create new and spontaneous internal bleeding. I’m to watch out for – if I start throwing up what looks like coffee grounds, that’s stomach blood, dark tarry stool, that’s intestinal blood, broken vessels in my eyes, bleeding nose, that’s a brain hemorrhage and spontaneous deep, dark bruising, that is general internal bleeding. At any given time, apparently we all have tiny bleeds all over our bodies, on the inside, vessels break, membranes wear out etc etc…normally our genius blood rushes in and saves the day by clotting and like the little dutch boy sticks their fingers in the dyke… how politically incorrect is that phrase…. anyways, normally the blood clots and plugs these holes – but right now I am in the process of losing this ability.

Any clots I do have,  as a result of the fibrillation, will be broken down and new ones will not form, because basically I’m becoming a hemophiliac, I need to be careful to not bump, bang or crash into anything, there goes my lovemaking techniques, as a slight – formerly insignificant bump could result in severe unstoppable bleeding… I need to take such a large dose to destroy all the existing clots, lest some dislodge and I get a big fat stroke. Oh god, imagine how little sense my posts would make then. My writing is barely coherent as it is….

I’m considering buying a whole bunch of bubble wrap and making a suit…. so I really need the money from the toothbrush shank sales….

Anyways, that`s what`s up with me…. Jealous?

Have a Great Day

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