Hey You Spilled Nihilism all Over my Optimism

All-righty then, let’s open the dam on the old medical fountain of information…

The problem with not posting for a while is that I forget what I last told y’all. I can’t be expected to go back over the drivel I write, it’s bad enough having to endure it once, never mind having to read it again….
OK well, I did it anyway, that, dear reader is how much you mean to me – I went back and checked out where we last stood. I had just informed you that it appeared the MG was back – that repeated punch to the twig and berries I endure from the universe.

Let me start off by giving you a bit of information on our friend Mr. Thyroid – or at least my portion of it. A “normal” level reading can be anywhere between 11 – 20 (units aren’t important, just go with me) When my out of whack readings came back a few weeks ago I was at 77. Crazy high, hence the toxicosis. So they pulled me off two of the meds immediately, and sent me to the endocrinologist, I mentioned a few posts back. He saw me for all of three minutes then put me on a new medication, he wanted to put me on two new medications but I said no. He was against it saying toxicosis is nothing to fool around with and we need to get things under control immediately. I still said no.

That’s right I took on the entire field of endocrinological speciality – and in a moment we’ll see, I won. Chris = 1…. Science, 11 years of medical school, 2 years of residency and 14 years of practice, including being the past president of the BC medical association = 0. This doctoring stuff isn’t so hard…. what’s all the fuss about?

Anyways, after stopping the medications, and  waiting one month to take my next thyroid test, I had dropped to 27. Pretty huge drop. My doctor who I saw after the new reading was very surprised to see that the Endo had been so aggressive with his dosage of the new drug. Clearly, I was coming down significantly but still he went after it aggressively. OK I suppose that makes sense, he wanted to hit it hard and quick, try and nip it in the bud. So my doctor, in light of the new much lower reading – drastically cut back the dose in anticipation that I was going to keep going down.

He also counseled against going to see my Neurologist to discuss the renewed MG episodes. This confused me, the MG scares me at least as much as the heart stuff does and here he was asking to me just let it slide. Really? Then he infuriated me by giving his reason and what’s worse, he made sense. He said “look, we’re trying to get the thyroid issue under control so we can move forward with the pacemaker, that’s a big issue in and of itself.”

He went on ” Doctors in general and specialists in particular often focus narrowly on what’s directly in front of them, if you go see your neurologist – she will just start adjusting your meds in an effort to deal with the new MG episodes. This will just send your system into flux again and make getting the thyroid under control more difficult.”

Damn, he was using that old end run, Logic on me. Totally not fair. Although it sounded counter-intuitive, he was right – that was exactly what she would do. He said if I started getting worse OK no problem we’d make an appointment with her. But if I could tough it out right now, then let’s do that until we get the thyroid readings normalized.

So that takes us to earlier today, or well last thursday I went back for a blood panel work-up, and sure enough – my thyroid reading was now 8. So I was below normal, wouldn’t be the first time I heard that from someone. The reason I said earlier, units don’t matter because apparently with the thyroid, even being outside the “normal” 11 – 20 can cause quite a lot of shenanigans in your body – so being at 8 is not good either.

So I’m off the new meds completely and we take a wait and see for 1 more month and hopefully the thyroid stabilizes itself. Wait until that time then decide when best to see the Neurologist and pray the MG doesn’t get worse. Then once those are dealt with we can move forward with the pacemaker.

The Heart Centre people said, we’re proceeding carefully here, we would hate to see us move forward and implant the device only to realize later, it wasn’t necessary. Yea, OK I get it but really I could care less at this point, now I just want it to be over and done with and if in a couple of years it turns out it wasn’t necessary too bad for me.. it was my choice. I want to get BACK TO MY LIFE!

BUT, BUT BUT BUT BUT.. My Neurologist, My Endocrinologist, Both My Cardiologists and my GP all say the same thing… I am a very difficult case, I fall into the miniscule fraction of a percentage who just skews the curve all the time, I am the footnote, every single treatment that should work on me, doesn’t. Even when the vast majority of folks are over and on their merry way.

Not me. So in that vein they keep warning me, it’s entirely possible a pacemaker may not be the end of my troubles. Again in the vast majority of people it solves the problem and they go on to live happily ever after.

So that is pretty soul crushing to hear that – even if I move forward things could remain status quo. Except now I have to manage all the attendant issues associated with having a pacemaker as well.

Here’s the scenario I see playing out and the one I’m putting my money on. Thyroid stabilizes, MG mellows out when I’m off meds, I get the pacemaker and am in sustained sinus rhythm for the first time in years, they release me from the hospital and on the way home I’m killed in a car accident.

It’s just such a perfect ending to the whole thing. Nihilistic perhaps, but from my point of view, it sounds about right.



Have a Great Day.