Blades, Bangles & Botulism

Never, ever, ever been a fan of  the Magic that is – Ice Dancing – but, sitting here, right now, the Canadians have just posted a monster score and look poised to win the Gold, with only the Russians to go…..Russian dude keeps doing his lifts, grabbing her by the belt and swinging her around like a communist yo-yo…. not as elegant as you may imagine…..

Of course, watching the dance…. it inspired me to see that, from a distance it looks like the women are wearing some pretty decent show me the money outfits, UNTIL they zoom in and you see that what appears to be perfect alabaster skin is merely a cruel joke. Total rip OFF… it’s nothing more than skin coloured material – even on the dudes…. come on, take a cue from golf & tennis, short skirts, lots of skin…real skin…. you don’t see Venus and Serena wearing Spanx…

CANADA …. Gold….. I’m tearing up…. oh god, now moving into convulsive sobs….. cripes there goes the bladder….queasy ……..

Reminds me of a time a few years back I was in a rush to get to a class at UBC, quickly stopped at a 7-11 and picked up a roast beef sandwich for lunch, turns out the roast beef was bad, of course I didn’t find that out until about 20 minutes AFTER eating it…. food poisoning, massive, Olympic calibre heaves, over and over – wave after wave… I actually had 2 black eyes from retching so hard… the point is – here, at the very worst point, when I was in a roast beef induced death spiral – for one split second, which remains indelibly burned into my memory – I had a vision – I….. I saw something, I saw the exact same costumes worn by the Russians….

There are times when Roast Beef is not your friend....

Muscle memory is an amazing thing, just seeing the image – my stomach is churning…. sweat beading on upper lip… I’m back in the Henry Angus bldg bathroom, creating street pizza…..demonstrating a negative chug…. I was whistling beef…. bad times…. I missed seeing my very first Grizzlies game that day, had tickets to the opening night, was forced to decline with extreme prejudice…. November 5, 1995…. a day that will live in infamy….

Didn’t really need to go there.. I apologize….  congratulations Ice Dancers… stay away from the roast beef….

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