Cowboys… Are you serious…..

So living here on the the West Coast, we see a bunch of folks visit from Alberta and a fair number come down and visit civilization from the interior of BC, presumably to stock up their covered wagons. I’ve noticed a recent preponderance of yahoos decked out in cowboy attire.  Sure there are ranches and horses and stuff still around, but for crying out loud, is dressing up every friggen day of your life and  pretending to be John Wayne really necessary? I’d just assumed that by now, all the ranches were staffed with robot cowboys anyways…


Page excerpt from the Cowboy Union Handbook for new employees... Under the section..looking butch....

I  just think it’s silly to dress like a cowboy unless you actually ride a horse on a regular basis or work on a ranch. Anyone not involved in daily cowboy duties and still wearing a ten gallon hat and boots is completely and utterly ridiculous and should probably be “de-programmed” (forcibly).  They are basically wearing a Halloween costume year round. Is that any different than if I was to dress up like a fireman or police officer or astronaut all the time?  No, it’s not any different.  In fact, it’s similarly silly and constitutes fraud. Although it would be kind of cool to walk around in a space suit all day….

I would love to see a group of these posers mulling about trying to look like they have a pair when actually faced with some sort of cowboy emergency. Maybe some doggies need to be punched or a steer needs wrangling (whatever the hell that means) or a damsel needs to be rescued. I would thoroughly enjoy watching some big brazen bovines running amok or a sexy saloon girl being carried off by a band of drunken, thieving Indians while these pretentious idiots just stand there helpless. Helpless, because they’re not friggen cowboys! I think you’d find that in most cases an inordinately large number of them would turn out to actually be Dentists… with a serious John Travolta fixation.

So all you John Wayne wannabes and pseudo High Plains Drifters, please leave your fake cowboy get-up at home and wear something more sensible and practical when out in public. Although there is one instance in which cowboy garb in an urban setting is something I’m willing to look the other way for…..


This look just never gets old.... notice how I've resisted inserting a Brokeback Mountain joke here...

Have a Great Day.