ATM’s & Secret Memos…
You know, we’ve all been using ATM machines for at least 15 or 20 years now… how is it possible some people still haven’t got the hang of it? How? God forbid you should find it necessary to use a drive-thru ATM, because and I want to make it clear this has nothing to do with my personal experience, this doesn’t happen to me every single friggin time I foolishly decide to put the past behind me and try again, hoping against hope – praying it will go better this time…
A – Generally a Male
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
B – Generally a Female
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you (me).
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
I’ve stopped going to the drive thru…..
Is it possible I’ve somehow been left off of a very important mailing list in which women have been instructed that this is the proper way to use the drive thru ATM… if that is the case what other memos have I missed… what else is happening, frustrating me needlessly because it’s happening as it should, as per the memo – the memo I’ve never received…..
Have a Great Day.