Neuro, Cardio & Parking Rape
Saw my Neurologist today, the actual Doctor, not the medical aide nurse…. the one who kept calling me Michael. Turns out the doctor is pretty decent. Previously, as regular readers will recall, she had taken to only blowing into my appointments for the last 2 or 3 minutes and that was it…. so my impression was not…. impressive, shall we say…
Today’s only complaint was – she was 45 minutes late seeing me… so I had to run back out to the meter and plug in a twoonie, which gave me a whopping 20 minutes…. ummmm, geez noone thinks they intentionally jack up the meter prices around hospitals do they? Naw, that would be cynical of me… really – 1 dollar gets you 10 minutes…. (meanwhile at city hall) – Ok, everyone settle down the meeting is called to order, Mike – what did you want to say, thanks Ed, as everyone knows my team has been working for months to find an effective way to royally screw citizens out of even more of the money they already don’t have… sounds good Mike tell us more, sure, basically we’ve come up with this and by god Ed, we like it… we’re going to crank up the meters around hospitals, initially it will be expensive for us because they don’t even MAKE meters that charge what we want to charge, so we’re having them made specially by the North Koreans but eventually they’ll pay for themselves and then it’s hello raise for all city employees… Mike, you and your team have outdone yourselves – everyone knows people only go to hospitals to hang out and waste time, it’s not like it’s an essential service like BMW floor mat shampoo stations or organic avacado oil facial mask application kiosks – hospitals are for lay-abouts and shenaniganizers…. nice work Mike….
But I digress….
Ok so the Doctor has solid credentials, Head of Neurology at UBC School of Medicine and the Director of Neurology for Vancouver General.. Ok OK I get it, your brain weighs more than mine, now make me well…. anyways she was great, took all the time to answer my questions, explained stuff to me as if I were Helen Keller on a bad day and made sure I understood, mapped out the plan of attack and generally besides scaring me with what’s ahead, gave me some confidence that she knew what was happening and would handle the whole thing. Just like a Doctor should, in my opinion… she wasn’t arrogant or condescending, exuded confidence and made the future sound somewhat less bleak.
So you can imagine my profound disappointment when a couple of security guards busted in from the psych ward, tased her, cuffed her and gave her a stern tongue lashing for playing Doctor again… damn….. Ok – I made that part up, but I want to keep you interested…
Our plan of attack goes like this,first off, they have been trying to get me to have this IVIG procedure – anyone who watches HOUSE will be familiar with this procedure they do it all the time, basically they remove all my plasma and blood and replace it with new stuff from donors. This gives me good strong antibodies and all my neurochemicals and neurotransmitters will be tip top. Why did I wait? As with all this stuff, there are some downsides, it is a long process, 3 days in a row, six hours a day for the complete procedure, and it only lasts for between 2 to 5 weeks depending on the individual. Side effect potential, aseptic meningitis amongst other things…. but it’s supposed to be not too bad. She wants to gauge my reaction to it, because I’ll need to have it before my surgeries. It won’t due to be weak or have signs of MG going into or coming out of surgery, so I have the IVIG and go in good as new…. in theory.
So this treatment, the IVIG – I’ll be having next week, not sure of the days yet….. I imagine I’ll have plenty to harp on when it finally happens, unless it goes and goofs me up further. But just maybe it works as advertised and I feel great for a couple of weeks. Definitely going to have the thymectomy, I see the surgeon on June 2nd, apparently procedure generally follows within 2 months after. Then ablation is on the horizon as well, they (my medical team) all agree I should have the ablation first before thymectomy, so my Neurologist is going to pressure my cardiac surgeon to bump up my procedure asap… that’s a good thing I guess…
So as I feared – it looks like this year will be a total write off, but all my procedures should be done and I should be well on my way to healing town. Apparently recovery after thymectomy is about 2 months, 5-7 days in hospital after procedure, then home recovery and physio… sounds awesome. Thymectomy surgeon meeting June 2nd, add 2 months so procedure in August then 2 months recovery puts me into late October, early November, Ablation, well, been there done that so I know what to expect. Maybe I’m good by Christmas…..
Ok – listen – to the powers that be – I agree to fully forfeit this year of my life, off work, missed time with kids, friends, golf, sports of any kind, movies, living life, etc etc basically a wasted year – IF – you promise I’ll be all better in 2011… DEAL?
Have a Great Day